We have been stuck inside now for over a month, with no restaurants or parks, movies or art museums. Even walking outside to go to the market isn’t a good idea. And it is making me sad.
I also learned yesterday that a dear friend from University Park School, Debi Massey, has passed away. She had been a ray of sturdy sunshine everyday for teachers and kids. Knowing that her light has gone out has put a shadow on my own.
I have been trying hard to stay happy. That is usually my default position anyway, and comes pretty easily. But yesterday it failed me. I woke up sad and tired, slept most of the day, and went to bed exhausted.
For a while, I thought I was sick. I had a fever and sore throat. I waited for it to get worse, so I could say, “Well, that’s why I feel so awful, I’m sick.” But it didn’t get worse, and I still felt like I wanted to disappear.
This morning I feel a little better. The sadness seems to have shifted, from my center to somewhere less overwhelming. I am still not the Little Mary Sunshine I am used to, but maybe she is around somewhere.
Hoping for happier feelings soon.