Not so Sunny Inside

Dear Liza,

I’m trying, sign, I really am….

We have been stuck inside now for over a month, with no restaurants or parks, movies or art museums. Even walking outside to go to the market isn’t a good idea. And it is making me sad.

I also learned yesterday that a dear friend from University Park School, Debi Massey, has passed away. She had been a ray of sturdy sunshine everyday for teachers and kids. Knowing that her light has gone out has put a shadow on my own.

I have been trying hard to stay happy. That is usually my default position anyway, and comes pretty easily. But yesterday it failed me. I woke up sad and tired, slept most of the day, and went to bed exhausted.

For a while, I thought I was sick. I had a fever and sore throat. I waited for it to get worse, so I could say, “Well, that’s why I feel so awful, I’m sick.” But it didn’t get worse, and I still felt like I wanted to disappear.

This morning I feel a little better. The sadness seems to have shifted, from my center to somewhere less overwhelming. I am still not the Little Mary Sunshine I am used to, but maybe she is around somewhere.

Hoping for happier feelings soon.

Grandma Judy

Author: Judy

I am a new transplant to Portland from Salinas, a small city in Central California. This is a blog about my new city.

One thought on “Not so Sunny Inside”

  1. You need a virtual dance-a-thon ! You know we can do that now! This morning for some reason I put on The Mamas & the papas song… And in my sock feet I started dancing on the vinyl floor. It was a gas and it was exercise it was fun! And it wasn’t so fast that I would break a hip LOL anytime you want to dance with me we could do video chat and I can have my echo device play anything you want to hear. Big hugs to a great gal shake It off!


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